I Just Wanna Be Average

Wow! After reading “I Just Wanna Be Average” Part 1, by Mike Rose, I have been transported back to my own experiences in high school. Though I was not part of the vocational education program, I was in the lower and average level classes. Like his teachers, I found the majority of mine ill prepared, uninspired and under equipped to deal with a classroom full of kids who were really average. In some regards it felt more like a processing plant than an educational system; we were being moved through to graduation in hopes that something would turn out for us.

Once in this system that does not really teach or make sure that each student understands the subject matter before moving on, intellectually they become a bit stagnant. Emotionally their self confidences diminish and shut them down to new experiences in learning because they are protecting themselves from further embarrassment. Socially it just feels safer to be with other students in the same boat and no one is encouraging each other to do more and it can feel a bit like betrayal if they do move on. Math is a good example of that, if you are moved on to the next level without really “getting it” earlier, the student already feels behind and math becomes very emotional.

High School can be a very difficult time if you do not have a parent who has the ability, academic experience or time, to help advocate for you. It can be very difficult to be your own advocate especially if you do not know what you do not know. Grappling with your own experience and then coming face to face with other students and their experiences while you are all experiencing emotional surges and bodily changes can be a very disorienting time. For Ken Harvey, the idea of just wanting to be average is comforting. It’s a way to protect himself from putting himself out there and risking further harm and it’s protecting oneself from being less than average.

College has seemed really different than high school. As long as I am trying and communicating what it is I do not understand, I have found the professors to be much more available and concerned about whether or not I have understood the material. I think maturity helps. Not having all of those confusing emotions and wanting to make sure that socially I fit in frees me up to learn. Also, socially there is not that feeling that you are all stuck in this processing plant together; you get to make some of the choices for yourselves. If someone was feeling disoriented, I would encourage them to talk to their professors or even an advisor. Having someone help you find the right question to ask really helps.